What are Softeners in Coaching?

Originally Posted on The Launchpad - The Coaching Tools Company Blog as What are Softeners in Coaching?

In coaching, softeners are a a few words you use just before asking a difficult question to literally ‘soften the blow’.

By using a softener, you’re subconsciously preparing them for a potentially difficult shift in the conversation’s energy. Using softeners is therefore a great way to maintain rapport with your clients while asking the challenging questions that are going to move them forwards.

Here are 7 softeners to get you started:

1. I’m curious…     (keeping it open and light)
2. Just for a moment…     (you won’t have to do this for long)
3. Let’s suppose…     (let’s play here)
4. I was wondering…     (keeping it open and light)
5. Help me out here…     (you’ll be doing me a favour)
6. Would it be OK to play with this?     (asking their permission)
7. Let me ask you this…     (asking their permission more forcefully)

If you liked this, you may also like:

• Coaching Questions 101: 5 Easy Ways to Identify and Work Through Limiting Beliefs!

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